dongstrider:

im—really—weird:

psyducked:

I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do

somebody please write a book on this

10knotes:

windows98:

I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS ALL DAY IN SCHOOL

my name is luna enriquez

10knotes:

undefined-thought:

This is my absolute favourite one.

mjolkk:

oh my god i’m at the grocery store and there is a guy in the frozen section who is tweaked off his balls on some kind hallucinatory drug. 

i’m in the next isle meowing softly through the cereal boxes where he can’t see me and he is losing his shit pulling pizza boxes out of the freezers and yelling that he needs to save the popsicle cat 

am i a bad person  

izzielosthermind:

stabla:

if you think your family is dysfunctional remember that zeus got a woman pregnant but she burned to death so he rescued the fetus from her ashes and sewed it into his thigh and gave birth to it himself and that fetus is now the god of wine and sexual deviancy god bless

My great aunt stabbed her husband in the stomach on their anniversary and he decided not to divorce her because he didn’t want a custody battle over the goats.

lulz-time:

galicseas:

IT’S SO CUTE IM REBLOGGING TWICE

twerk4tacobell:

lady-sherlock:

colinandbradleysgirl:

theabyssofword:

me on my way to overthrow yo country

tried to scroll past this, couldn’t.

same

napoleon more like naponyon

SPOILER ALERT:
he loses the battle of waterloo